Lessons In Love: What Makes Love Last?

Dawn & James
James was travelling to Barbados when he met Dawn – a local – on a pirate ship called The Jolly Roger nearly 30 years ago. They danced, drank rum and chatted all night. “We just talked and talked and laughed and laughed and finished each other's sentences. And we were like, ‘What is going on here?’,” says Dawn. “He was a breath of fresh air.”

James says it was love at first sight. “I can remember the moment I knew I was in love with Dawn. We were on The Jolly Roger, she was very beautiful, and I said something stupid like ‘What does Dawn do?’ and she said ‘I'm an accountant’. And then I knew that she was smart as well as really beautiful.”

The couple agree that the secret to making love last is honesty, patience and being open to your partner's flaws and not trying to change them into the somebody you think they should be. “I like to be able to demonstrate my love with affection and actually touching someone and hugging them,” adds Dawn.  “I need to be able to express my love physically as well as in those subtle, nuanced ways.” James keeps it simple: “Being friends, yep, that’s the secret.”

Maria & Anthony
This veteran couple’s love story goes back more than 40 years, when they started out as international penpals. Maria lived in Singapore and wrote letters to Anthony in Australia until one day he visited her and they spent days at Changi Beach and evenings in restaurants. “Anthony came to visit me, then I came to Australia and he gave me a diamond ring. After six months we were married,” muses Maria. 

Maria believes the key to their relationship is her cooking… and Anthony’s big heart.

“Anthony is very kind and generous – and he's honest. We always tell things to each other so we don't hide things,” says Maria. Anthony adds that “being easy to get along with” is also crucial to making love last.

Anthony’s advice to his son Johnny on how to make love last? “Don't put too much emphasis on whether they're good looking or average or whatever, it's just the heart. The personality is one of the main things. All those other things are a bit of an asset, but as long as the personality's good and they're calm and relaxed, yeah that’s it.”

Keiren & Alistair
Keiren and Alistair celebrated their 20th anniversary in 2021 by getting married. “The anniversary was coming up and I said to Keiren, ‘Why don't we do something like get married to celebrate our 20th year together?’,” explains Alistair. “I mean, gay marriage only became legal a few years ago and we never wanted or expected to take it up. But we were very happy that it was a possibility and an option for us. Keiren’s first reaction was ‘Are you mad?’, but about a month later, he came back and said, ‘You know, that's not a bad idea’.” So, during lockdown the couple tied the knot surrounded by only five close friends and family members, then celebrated with Champagne and chocolate lemon cake baked by Alistair in Sydney’s Centennial Park. “It was simple, but such a special moment,” says Alistair.

And, when it comes to the question of what makes love last, both Keiren and Alistair agree the answer is also very simple: “Patience, tolerance and acceptance.”